I realize that in all of my writing, I’ve never really talked about my dad. The funny thing is, I’m so much like my dad in a lot of ways. Oh yeah, we’ve butted heads and we’ve had our difficulties over the years, but he’s my dad and I wouldn’t be who I am without him. I thought on his 56th birthday, I’d share some of my favorite moments of this man who shaped my world.
1. When I was turning 10, the first Batman movie was coming out. We are talking Michael Keaton Batman. I had no idea what was going on but the night before my birthday, I was told I could stay up late. Then my dad surprised me by taking me out late to the first Batman showing. I had no idea what we were seeing until the bat symbol came on during the opening credits. That was pretty amazing.
2. On another birthday, I woke up to a gift of a bottle of perfume, Poison. It was pretty and in a purple bottle with purple flowers. It was so incredibly sweet to wake up like that and I wore that bottle until there was no chance of another spritz coming out. I really do love surprise gifts.
3. My dad and I used to have conversations of real substance, about where we all came from and where we were going. He wasn’t afraid to say things that meant something to him. The question is, was I an esoteric sort of person to begin with or did my dad make me this way? I don’t know but my dad once looked at me and said he thought I was an old soul and that he thought I was older than he. Again, something that has stuck with me all my life, as I’ve delved farther into the reaches of human history and what it means to be a human in general. Perhaps this is what moved me gently into becoming a Buddhist.
4. My dad has the moves! This man can dance! He wasn’t ever afraid to embrace the rhythm of songs that came on. Perhaps it was his Honduran heritage or just a natural love of music, but my dad was definitely a contributor to my inability to sit still when I hear a grooving beat. Again, it could be our Latin roots, but when I was a senior in high school, we took a family vacation to Disney World and my dad and I had a blast on the dance floor at one of the clubs within the Disney World property.
5. My dad is a clothes-horse. Oh yes, my sense of fashion comes from my dad. When I was a kid, I was shocked at how much my dad would spend on a blazer but now, it definitely colors my reaction to how much I’ll pay for a dress or quality pair of shoes.
6. My dad is a man who appreciates the fine things in life. My love of expensive scotch and great cigars? All from my dad. Thankfully, my husband shares the same joys. Though my dad also taught me to love fine jewelry so when my husband asked me what my dream engagement ring was, he was certainly dealing with some of my dad’s influence on that, at least as far as design was concerned. The gemstone: an emerald, was the influence of my mom.
7. My dad inspired my desire to serve this country. After over 37 years of serving the Air Force, my dad will be retiring. I only lasted one term but I joined the Air Force to make my dad proud and now, I spend each day serving veterans. My time in the service shaped so much of who I am and that’s because, every day as a child, I watched my dad proudly don his starched, immaculate uniform.
8. My dad loves culture! I go to museums and festivals and local events because my dad always stressed how important it was to know about different cultures and ways of life and took us to so many cultural events when we were little.
9. My dad taught me the importance of education. Okay, now this was definitely a joint venture because both my parents were the very first of their families to ever graduate college. Isn’t that amazing?! As a writer though, and I’m not trying to highlight a fault, my dad’s poor spelling always pushed me to be better at my craft. I remember taking my early poetry to my dad and he would often critique it but this pushed me to be better and more creative. As I’ve gotten older and better understand the exceptionally poor education system of lesser developed countries, like Honduras, I can see how far my dad has come. My dad has also completed a masters degree, as have I, and I don’t know anyone else in our families who have made it so far. Not only do I have a masters but I earned it from Vanderbilt, one of the best schools in the country.
10. My dad helped teach me to stop pursuing losers. Albeit, lots of therapy and self work helped too but my hometown is full of them and the town itself perpetuates a rather strict class system. In other words, the rich date the rich and everyone else (the military and very middle to low class) date each other. It is a black hole of a town if you are looking to make something of yourself. We are talking about a town of professional bartenders and waiters. There’s nothing wrong with that but I always wanted more. My dad advised me that I didn’t need to be with a man who would support me because I could do it on my own, but he did advise me to be with a man capable of supporting me and a family, if needed. Now, my dad spent my life telling me I didn’t need a man and that I could shoot for the stars but the lesson I took from this was that I shouldn’t settle for a man who would forever be living off me or borrowing money from others to get by while he spent all day fishing and drinking. This is a real life for a lot of people where I came from. So, my dad’s advice has ended up making sense for me. I didn’t end up with a man forever stuck in high school mentality, which much of my hometown is. Instead, I have an educated man who aims for more and if I were to get sick, has the capability to care for me. It isn’t a matter of living off someone, it is a matter of having a partner with goals and ambitions capable of caring for a family.
So, those are just some things about my dad. He’s a good man. Human, as we all are, and he’s made some mistakes, but he’s a good father and he’s done his best for all his children.
Happy birthday, dad!