I have so many thoughts about UTMB. It reminds me of what my disabilities have stolen from me. If my body hadn’t given out, I would have run father, longer; I would have done an Iron Man. I would have looked at UTMB with intention.
My last half marathon was Rock n Roll New Orleans. It was a struggle. As was the Louisiana Half years before it. I struggled through my last 5K, though it was a crisp morning and the course was lovely. It felt so good to run it because I knew I was losing it.
I love to run.
I was running from around 6 or 7 years old. My practice went up or down for years and then in 2007ish, I really started running. It became my touch stone. On October 18, 2009, I ran my first race. The Music City Half Marathon. Exactly 1 friend came to see me run. It was the most exhilarating feeling to cross that finish line.
I couldn’t tell you how many halves I have run since then. And 5Ks, sprinkle in a few 10Ks, and 1 marathon. My first DNF was my first ultra. A 50K.
I was in a car accident 2 weeks before the race. Some girl t-boned me at a light and changed the course of my life.
I DNFd the ultra at 16 miles. I couldn’t get over the pain in my hip. But damn that course was beautiful.
So, I look at UTMB. Oh, a course I wish I could traverse. Even the OCC would be exquisite. I’ll never get to run a 100 mile ultra. I don’t even think I get many halves in my future. I’m struggling just to get in a mile or two walk every day.
I say all this to say, life has taken something from me. Something I love. And I won’t let that make me bitter. Instead, I can watch these amazing athletes get out there and tackle this challenging course.
I will continue to do what I can do. I didn’t choose this body but I’ve made it do incredible things. It has run long miles and it has climbed mountains. It has walked from Uptown New Orleans to Frenchmen St and back again on a Mardi Gras day (note to self: bring snacks). It continues to rock through 7 days of music at New Orleans Jazzfest every year. I pick and choose where my energy goes. It waxes and wanes.
Tomorrow, it waxes for the joy of watching UTMB. While I walk on my lil treadmill, trying to increase my range and strength.
Do what you can with what you have.