This warm November morning, somewhere between awake and asleep, I was moved to write this triad of posts. I had to rouse myself to set them up and remind myself of what I wanted to say because those moments are often the most creative but I’ve forgotten the essence of them upon waking. After a full day of work and budgets, I still knew I had to finish what began as the sun was rising.
The last couple years have been strange and tumultuous, without a doubt. There was a divorce, a major move, starting my job at a new office, loss of the ability to run, a worldwide pandemic, lockdowns, 2 Mardi Gras that hurt my liver, and then, something really unexpected.
After a lot of thought and podcasts and dealing with alcoholics in my life, I changed my relationship with alcohol. Don’t get me wrong, I still love bourbon and I’ll never say no to a pour of Macallan 25 year. Hell, I won’t even say no to the 18, but life through the pandemic started off with the hedonism I was accustomed to and I learned that wasn’t what I wanted for my life. I also learned that no running plus alcohol meant unwanted weight, both literally and figuratively.
I was tired of letting my emotions rule me through alcohol. I was tired of hangovers, the very infrequent sickness, the boredom of lockdown dictating the next pour, and the sugar cravings. Also, I was being inspired. I had learned that Florence Welch was sober. I began listening to and reading Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach, both sober. Every time I turned around, someone else I admired and respected revealed they were sober.
So, I started with the Cutback Coach. It’s been a revolution. I feel like my writing and creativity are flowing better than they have in decades because I’m not losing my train of thought or ability to move through a character’s development and all the ideas. Details that would have been lost in the fog of a night with a few bourbons now have the opportunity to gain purchase on my pages.
I now chug flavored seltzers, like Waterloo. I love bubbles and the sugar-free fruit flavors are fun. It gives me something enjoyable other than plain water after my morning coffee. I’ve lost 10 pounds. My skin is clearer. My mind is clearer. My heart is clearer.
I’ve found comfort and wisdom in a number of podcasts focusing on spirituality and living an empowered, fully-engaged life. I’ve let go of things not meant for me and I’ve found meaning in things I’d possibly have missed if I’d been hazy. I’m meeting my friends where they are, rather than where I’ve lost myself.
Now it’s time to sign off of this day of writing. Reading hours approach and I am headed back into the Dune universe, watermelon Waterloo in hand. Tomorrow is another day of creating and shaping the best version of me: fully feeling it all.