I stand on a precipice. A precipice that is the edge of all my dreams and I am ready to take that leap.
I write this now reflecting on the fact that a year ago I learned I was pregnant. That in itself was a dream come true. It was short lived. On Christmas Eve, I miscarried. A devastating event in the midst of a very dark time in my life.
Fast forward a year… I am beyond blessed and happy. My rainbow baby is not yet in sight but instead, a wondrous future with an amazing man and the family we will build together is just on the horizon.
It is difficult to go through big losses. They never disappear, though they may heal. Wounds leave scars but those scars color our landscape to make us unique… to make us resilient… to teach us. One can never call death a “good” thing but sometimes it is the “right” thing, despite its pain and its mark upon our hearts.
A brief life and death a year ago led me many steps to where I am and I am so grateful for what that death brought me to and saved me from the other sort of life it would have created for me. Instead, I stand on the precipice…
The precipice of joy… of unbridled potential… of the beauty and ecstatic nature that is love and truth.
For that, I am ever grateful… and so I thank that tiny life, the one I will never meet, for guiding me forward onto a new and better path so that its little brother or sister may one day live with a mother and father who will never take for granted all it took to create their present and future.